Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
