I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
