I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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