so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
