so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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