Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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