have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
