so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
did you just send me my own nude
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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