you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
