the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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