I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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