Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
