My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
