was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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