there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
