her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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