i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
