I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
