I cockslap morals
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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