My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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