Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
