She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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