At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
