So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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