I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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