that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
