Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
