Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
