i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
