Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"