only you would photoshop your dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.