How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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