yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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