maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
