a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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