So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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