I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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