maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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