After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
third nipple confirmed
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
