There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
