At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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