we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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