Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
tell me about the eggs
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