I just gift wrapped bread.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
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He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
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I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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