I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
