she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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