How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
