i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
