he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We are all done wearing pants today
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
