She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
