We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
