Umm I'm too high to move.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
