I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
