U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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