Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
