we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
