just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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