btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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