Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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