playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
