what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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