a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
