walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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