I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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